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‘One of the mistakes women make in their relationship or marriage is assuming their partner should know everything about them’ – Counselor Adofoli

Ghana’s very respectable counselor, Adofoli has shared a piece of a message worth reading. This time, the relationship expert touched on what is destroying many women’s marital home and love relationships.

According to Counselor Adofoli, some women do expect their partners to know everything about them which is very wrong.

He added that the whole marriage process is a learning one which needs to be very tactical.

Read his full post below;

Is the title for Today’s Motivational Message
Written by Counselor Adofoli

Women tend to or attempt to decode everything, explain everything and understand everything; sometimes even when the decoding is wrong. One of the mistakes women make in their relationship or marriage is assuming their partner should know everything about them and expecting them to meet their needs or help them with somethings without asking them.

You expect your partner to know you are not well without telling him, she expects her boyfriend to know she is broke without telling him. She expects her husband to know she is too tired to do some household chores without telling him. She expects her husband to know which part of her body turns her on or off without telling him. Your husband or partner is not superhuman.

Don’t assume your husband knows everything about you or that he should know everything about you. Don’t expect your man to understand every gesture you make or expect him to understand your moods, feelings and what is in your mind. He is not God, he is a man, he is your husband not your god.

He is married to you; he did not make you, you were handed to him as a helper. Although he is to live the rest of his life with you, he did not raise you, he did not watch you grow. Even though you were taken out of him, he was put to sleep throughout the process and didn’t know how you were made. He knows you but doesn’t understand everything about you.

He is still learning about you and its necessary you help him by expressing yourself, true feelings and emotion in a way that will not hurt, offend or make him feel disrespected, or think he is married to a disrespectful woman. You are created differently and how he sees things, how he thinks or reasons is different from you.

If any of his words or actions hurt you, don’t bottle it inside and conclude he intentionally did that to hurt you. Once you do that, you will feel no love for him. Such actions have the power to kill the intimacy in your marriage. You will become distant to him. You won’t feel like getting closer to him. When you see or hear him or when he comes closer to you, you develop fear instead of love.

Instead, express how his actions or words made you feel. If you cannot do that verbally (speaking) you can do that through writing. Write your spouse a letter, let him know the hurt, pain, frustration you found yourself in after their words or actions.

It is not healthy going to report your spouse to people outside your marriage. People sometimes believe marrying a man or woman means you are married to their family and friends, which is not true. Marriage is between two people not three or four or five. Your spouse’s friend or family member is not your spouse. Your spouse’s best friend is not your spouse. Your spouse’s parents are not your spouse.

So, speak to your spouse first on things you are not happy with within your marriage. If you are not satisfied with the results, suggest to them that you need to seek help from a third person; that you need counseling from the right person. Anyone can advise but not everyone can counsel.

Remember you are looking for ways and means to help or save your marriage and your spouse. You are not looking for a judge to jail your spouse. When you do that, you end your marriage because in a court of law, the Plaintiff and Defendant are not friends. They are seen as enemies.

You don’t accuse or jail someone and want to be their friend at the same time. The foundation of marriage is companionship so your spouse is your friend. When your dear friend or best friend offends you, there are better ways of going about it. The best person to go to is a counselor and not a judge. Always remember the only time a spouse takes the other to court is when they want to end their marriage. It’s when they want to divorce.

In conclusion, “We don’t know everything, and our prophecies are not complete.” – 1 Corinthians 13:9 (CEV).

Please share it with your friends. Someone out there needs this.

For counseling, feedback, invite me to speak at your church, school, organization, school or order my new book “DATE WRONG, MARRY WRONG”, call or WhatsApp +233206774279.

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Thank you for reading.

© Frank Edem Adofoli

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